This is going to be a long ass rant. Really did some soul-searching.

Back when I was in high school, I was labeled “conceited,” a “bitch,” or even a “whore,” even though people didn’t really know me. (How could I be a whore when I didn’t really have any boyfriends? Go figure.) Being young and naive, my reputation was my life and I didn’t think there was anything worse than having a bad rep. I tried so hard to be nauseatingly sweet to everyone and in my whole entire life, I went out of my way to please people so they would like me and know that I’m not as mean as I look. Now that I’m all grown up (well sorta) and have a stronger mind, I rarely hear those negative terms that used to make my life a living hell. (Whew.)

But I’m afraid all those years of trying to be sweet and nice has gotten me in even more trouble. I transformed and became something that was even worse than appearing like a “bitch.” I became a doormat.

It took me a long time to realize why I was always stuck in such awkward situations or why my life literally seems like a constant drama series. I’ve been wondering why all these bad things happen and after asking around, some people would tell me it’s because I interpret them as bad things and I totally agree with that. But you know what else? When you’re too nice…people literally will step all over you. I know it sounds commonsensical and obvious but you would think that when you’re nice, you can inspire people and you can make a difference. You can change perceptions and motivate peace.

Wrong, so awfully wrong. Sure there are a good handful of people that will appreciate you for being nice and treat you the way you treat them. But I was not aware of how many bad people there are in the world. Bad people who not only will hate you for being too nice but who will also try to use your niceness to their advantage. I’ve always watched movies where the nice guys persevere and overcome dumb mean people but in reality, that doesn’t always happen. Sadly, I think it’s just to give the good guys hope.

Then I started wondering how I became so nice in the first place…maybe it’s from years of watching goody-goody shows like “Family Matters,” or “Full House,” where the people are unrealistically nice and everyone seems to overcome issues by “talking it out.” Maybe I pictured the world to be like that when I was younger and expected I would walk into my first day of school with everyone waving and saying hi to me. But the world is definitely not like that. Far from it.

I guess I just noticed all of this working in a prominently female workplace. You learn a lot when you’re caged in together with members of your species. I learned about all types of females. I actually learned a lot about myself in the process. I learned that there aren’t people as “good” and “nice” as you. (I put that in quotes because it’s very subjective.) I also learned that if you want to be as happy as possible, you have to cut out the people and the things in your life that give you even a little bit of grief. Because it’s not healthy to do that to yourself. And you have to do so in a way without feeling sorry for what you did. You can’t feel sorry for the things that are harmful to you.

I have learned what it is to make yourself happy and trust me, it is hard. It’s not an easy thing to do. You can still be nice and optimistic but you have to be smart about it and careful. I’ve learned to read people quite well after a few times of meeting them, but sometimes people can still surprise you. So I will still try to continue believing in those traditional movies and t.v. shows and prove that yes, nice gals can finish first. As long as you make yourself happy, then why do you care about others? It only makes them miserable in the end if you don’t care too much.

Well I’m out for the day…sorry about the long depressing post.

Wait a minute, you know what? I’m NOT sorry! You read it, that’s on you!

xoxo Hunni

Categories : Advice Column, OH HELL NO! (My Rants), Personal