So I was talking to some of my girlfriends about this particular topic and I’ve seen it written on many other bloggers’ sites too. Why is it that people care so much about what you do and how you live your life? Why does it affect them so deeply?

And I know there’s an obvious answer to this question: People love to gossip and they thrive off of other people’s personal business.

I mean, I know why people like to talk about other people. It’s human nature and it creates bonds. Plus, we have mouths, what else are they for? But what I don’t get is why people seem to live off people’s lives.

If you don’t know what I mean, here is the main difference.

EXAMPLE 1. Kristy told Sally she just hooked up with one of their guy friends. Sally goes off and tells all her closest friends.
ANALYSIS: Yes Sally is a gossip freak. And yes, Sally is a little brat for sharing her friend’s personal info. But Sally isn’t really doing anything out of the ordinary. She just learned something new and is excited to share with the rest of her friends. People do this everyday and as much as you are hating on Sally right now, you have to admit you’ve done it too.

EXAMPLE 2: Kristy told Sally she just hooked up with one of their guy friends, Sam. Sally goes and tells her closest friends that Kristy is acting slutty and that Sam is not even cute so Kristy must be desperate to get someone like him. She continues…they’re not even compatible because Sam is into rock music and Kristy hates that. Why is she going for a rocker now anyway? To improve her reputation? For sure, they’re not going to last.
ANALYSIS: So clearly, there is a huge difference. In this case, Sally is really taking it up a notch and adding all of her biased opinions. This is not only going to stir up rumors and gossip, but it’s really bad for a friend to do that anyway. She doesn’t understand the relationship fully, yet she seems to have a lot to say about it. What bothers me is…why does she care so much? She’s not her!!!

My point for these examples is that there is a fine line between gossiping and hating. I feel like some girls go through this and some don’t. There are some girls that live life without anyone really noticing them or having anything negative to say to them because they’re so neutral. Then there are some people who people just LOVE to talk about because they have an interesting factor to them.

I think it’s perfectly dandy if particular people are never gossiped about, good for them. But that does mean that the person’s life is a tad boring, you have to admit! LOL

I mean everyone has opinions and it’s human nature. But when people start to really meddle with your life and affect you, then there’s a difference. Especially from your friends. True friends will accept you no matter what.

I have a close girlfriend who have had breast implants and I have nothing negative to say about that. If you’re not satisfied with your body and need something to make you happy, then why not? I’m all for it! I may not support plastic surgery for my personal self (since I’m too chicken) but I think it’s great that you’re making a change to improving your self-esteem and personality. But you know what’s going to happen after implants right? Everyone’s gonna talk. I can’t believe how many people talked crap about my friends and I’m like…why are they freaking out? It’s not your body, the person made a conscious decision about her implants and what’s it to you? Plus, they were her own freaking friends!!!

I honestly think people who do nothing but judge have major insecure issues. Actually, the most judgmental people are usually the most insecure. What makes them have to nitpick everyone else? To make themselves feel a tad bit better? What makes them a great person after that? They don’t change…they’re still their ugly selves. (And by ugly, I mean personality-wise! Don’t ever call people physically ugly!!!)

I just don’t get why people are so damn judgmental these days! Sheesh! >:O
A friend told me she was getting a lecture from her best friend for spending too much on shopping! If it makes her happy and she’s not in debt from it, what’s the problem? IT’S HER MONEY!!!!! Just ’cause the best friend can’t spend the money, why can’t she let her friend do so?!!! Geez, people these days have nothing better to talk about.

Look at yourselves people!!!

Well, I’m gonna go to bed now…hope you enjoyed my rant. Had to cut it short ’cause I’m getting a little sleepy. Will blog again soon! <333

xoxo Hunni

Back when I was in high school, I was labeled “conceited,” a “bitch,” or even a “whore,” even though people didn’t really know me. (How could I be a whore when I didn’t really have any boyfriends? Go figure.) Being young and naive, my reputation was my life and I didn’t think there was anything worse than having a bad rep. I tried so hard to be nauseatingly sweet to everyone and in my whole entire life, I went out of my way to please people so they would like me and know that I’m not as mean as I look. Now that I’m all grown up (well sorta) and have a stronger mind, I rarely hear those negative terms that used to make my life a living hell. (Whew.)

But I’m afraid all those years of trying to be sweet and nice has gotten me in even more trouble. I transformed and became something that was even worse than appearing like a “bitch.” I became a doormat.

It took me a long time to realize why I was always stuck in such awkward situations or why my life literally seems like a constant drama series. I’ve been wondering why all these bad things happen and after asking around, some people would tell me it’s because I interpret them as bad things and I totally agree with that. But you know what else? When you’re too nice…people literally will step all over you. I know it sounds commonsensical and obvious but you would think that when you’re nice, you can inspire people and you can make a difference. You can change perceptions and motivate peace.

Wrong, so awfully wrong. Sure there are a good handful of people that will appreciate you for being nice and treat you the way you treat them. But I was not aware of how many bad people there are in the world. Bad people who not only will hate you for being too nice but who will also try to use your niceness to their advantage. I’ve always watched movies where the nice guys persevere and overcome dumb mean people but in reality, that doesn’t always happen. Sadly, I think it’s just to give the good guys hope.

Then I started wondering how I became so nice in the first place…maybe it’s from years of watching goody-goody shows like “Family Matters,” or “Full House,” where the people are unrealistically nice and everyone seems to overcome issues by “talking it out.” Maybe I pictured the world to be like that when I was younger and expected I would walk into my first day of school with everyone waving and saying hi to me. But the world is definitely not like that. Far from it.

I guess I just noticed all of this working in a prominently female workplace. You learn a lot when you’re caged in together with members of your species. I learned about all types of females. I actually learned a lot about myself in the process. I learned that there aren’t people as “good” and “nice” as you. (I put that in quotes because it’s very subjective.) I also learned that if you want to be as happy as possible, you have to cut out the people and the things in your life that give you even a little bit of grief. Because it’s not healthy to do that to yourself. And you have to do so in a way without feeling sorry for what you did. You can’t feel sorry for the things that are harmful to you.

I have learned what it is to make yourself happy and trust me, it is hard. It’s not an easy thing to do. You can still be nice and optimistic but you have to be smart about it and careful. I’ve learned to read people quite well after a few times of meeting them, but sometimes people can still surprise you. So I will still try to continue believing in those traditional movies and t.v. shows and prove that yes, nice gals can finish first. As long as you make yourself happy, then why do you care about others? It only makes them miserable in the end if you don’t care too much.

Well I’m out for the day…sorry about the long depressing post.

Wait a minute, you know what? I’m NOT sorry! You read it, that’s on you!

xoxo Hunni

Very recently, I started a job and on my first day, I had to plaster advertisments around the building. I didn’t really know where things went since it was my first day and I was extremely nervous since I wanted to make a great impression on the manager.

There was a custodian sweeping the floor in the building and he saw me standing in confusion, thinking about the perfect placement for the ads. (I’m quite a perfectionist at my jobs so I understand that it might baffle people to see me standing there for a good minute, staring at the wall) 

He had a very friendly demeanor but on the other hand, he also seemed a little “off,” in his facial expressions. For example: His question sounded very friendly, yet his entire face was grimaced. (Not a very appealing expression if you ask me.)

He laughed and asked,

“Do you need help Miss? You look sorta confused.”

I proceeded to say,

“Well, I’m looking for a good spot to put the ads and I’m not quite sure where it looks best. [laugh] It’s my first day so I want it to be perfect.”

I didn’t expect him to help me. I didn’t want sympathy and I wasn’t trying to pull a damsel in distress act. What I wanted for him to do is what I expect any normal person to do. Laugh, walk away, and leave me be. But instead, he grabbed the ads, put them in a random spot, and before walking away, he added:

“Wow, you ARE a girl. It’s the easiest task, yet you make it hard.”

First of all, I can take a joke. I’m pretty good at reading people, and if he laughed at the end, did a little friendly hand gesture, or even if he said it in a joking manner, I would still be offended but I would not let it affect me. This guy said it and looked at me with narrowed eyes like he truly religiously believed it. He was DEAD SERIOUS.

Plus I’m not stupid. I can read between the lines and sense his underlying tone. I’m not mad that he practically insulted me, but I’m mad at him insinuating that all females are stupid. 
People like him constantly surprise me with their idiocy. The fact that he was using “females” as a metaphor for “stupidity” just irks me. He said it as if they go hand in hand.

I looked at him, rolled my eyes and walked away. I was so worried about my job that for a quick second, I excused it. But you know if I could turn back time, you know what I would’ve told him?

“Um…yeah I am a girl. And wow, you ARE an idiot. Opening your mouth when nothing useful really comes out.”

If only, if only…

This sexism needs to die, seriously. Some of the beliefs that still exist in this world just amaze me.

xoxo Hunni

So if I had a dollar for every time someone has misjudged me, I would be a millionaire. 

No joke. I would say over 90% of my friends (females only) have said that my image is bitchy without it being intentional. Not my facial expression or my gestures, but literally just by my physical appearance alone.  I‘ve even had people who I’ve never met before come up to me and tell me that too. Why is it that people are so quick to judge? And how can a person’s image appear bitchy? I had a discussion with my roommate the other day about this. We were trying to figure it out…

Could it be the way I put on my makeup? The fact that I’m Asian and have blondish highlights in my hair? The fact that I’m not afraid to show some skin? Or maybe it’s because I just don’t have a friendly face when I’m not smiling? 

Well who the hell goes around with a forced grin on their face anyways? That’s a little creepy if you ask me. 

I have experienced girl drama like you wouldn’t believe and what’s even worse is I know girls who have rarely experienced drama. But then a guy friend tells me:  Some girls just have that image that people associate with snobs. It could be a certain style they’re sporting or a certain overall image they possess. Well whatever…I dress the way I want to dress and I put however much makeup I want to put and you know something? I am in no way a snobby bitch whatsoever…my roommates can back me up on that one. In fact, I think I’m a little too nice.

A true bitch would embrace the fact that she looks like a bitch. But a shy person would be offended and shocked. I admit, I used to be hurt when people would tell me I look like a shallow bitch. I was hurt and ashamed of my face. I don’t want a horrible stereotype written all over me. I want people to give me a chance and give me the benefit of the doubt, like I do with other people.

Is it possible that I’m one of the rare species left in the world that doesn’t judge people and write them out?

Nowadays, I do embrace my image. Not because I’m proud of looking like a bitch but because, for every single friend who has told me I have a “bitchy look,” the statement is immediately followed by,

“But surprisingly, you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

And this tells me two things.

1) I may have an unfriendly appearance but once people meet me, their expectations are reversed. This means people have learned not to judge others who look a certain way. Just because a girl is wearing glasses and braces, doesn’t mean she’s a nerd. You have to look deeper and give people a chance. A lot of my friends feel they’ve learned valuable lessons after realizing this.

2) I am a genuinely nice person and if people can look past the image and take the moment to get to know me, then they are worth being friends with. Why would I waste my time on people who just take one look at me and assume? Maybe I’m glad I was blessed with this armed weapon since I don’t have to waste my time with such close-minded people.

I’ve known a few people who have said that if they followed their instincts and completely dismissed someone, they would’ve missed out on knowing a great person. You only know a few great people in your life and the more chances you take, the more great friends you make. It’s not guaranteed that you’ll find friends each time you take a shot.

But the more you shut people out, the less chances you have of finding truly amazing people that might impact your life.

xoxo Hunni

You know the kind: bullies, evil dictators, and Type A personality mixed with eccentricities. 

Until recently, I had no idea how to deal with these difficult people. I literally took it personally, acted on emotions and took it to heart. I learned very recently how to handle these people in a firm, mature way and most importantly, how to be at peace with yourself.

Here are some tips I’ve put together just from years of hearing advice and also learning on my own.

1. Silence is truly the best weapon.

Sometimes being quiet is stronger than a comeback. If you do it in an assertive way, it can work. And yes there are different ways of being silent. You can be silent in a victimized way which looks like you have no comeback, or you can be silent in a strong assertive way …kind of like a manager staring silently at an employee who just made a stupid mistake. It’s all in your demeanor.

Silence can also save you from acting on emotions and saying something weak and defensive. Most of the time, it’s the easiest, quickest option and saves yourself from embarrassment if you do accidentally say the wrong thing.

2. Stand your ground. 

Don’t let them guilt-trip you. Just tell yourself: It’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong. Keep this thought in the back of your head. If you’re a genuinely good person and you didn’t do any wrongdoings intentionally, how can anybody blame you? It’s not your intent to hurt anybody and guess what: All humans make mistakes. So there’s no reason for someone to hold it against you.

If you feel even an ounce of guilt, you will always find yourself catering to this person. But always think of yourself in a confident manner and know that you are a good person.

3. Don’t try to change them. 

Never expect people to do a 180. Focusing all your energy on their negatives only causes more internal frustration if it doesn’t work. People don’t change easily and it’s not your duty to help them. The best thing to do for yourself is know how they are and work on the way you interpret everything. Don’t dwell on changing their ways; just concentrate on your reactions and perceptions. They are not worth your time and energy, but your sanity is!

4. Erase them from your memory. 

For most people, this is probably the hardest step. But it can be done, trust me. New hobbies and new interests can take your mind off of many things. There are so many opportunities available nowadays. If writing is your thing, you could maybe start a blog or keep a private journal. You can join a club, take up a sport, or even play games online. I even know someone that likes to tidy up the house and clean to keep her mind off things. It can be as simple as that! Keeping good thoughts in your mind and having good people around you will make a difference!

5. Abandon Awkwardness. 

Some people might find themselves to be shyer or more quiet around the person. But don’t stray away from them. Face your fears. Act like there’s nothing absolutely wrong and treat them as if nothing they do or say bothers you. The more you practice this, the more stronger your mentality will be and before you know it, you’ll start to believe it! Trust me, this little tip works! 

Avoiding them only causes you stress and gives them more leeway to continue what they’re doing. You want them to see you’re strong and can maturely handle anything that comes your way. You’re not a kid and you shouldn’t have to deal with such a childish situation.

6. Be an actor! 

It honestly helps to take yourself outside the situation and observe from a third-person point of view. Just step outside of yourself and pretend you’re watching the whole thing as if it’s one of your favorite sitcoms. You can see the situation under a funny light. Why is this person yelling at you when it doesn’t concern them? What a nosey jerk! It helps when you pretend you’re watching it happen to someone else because you won’t be as sensitive and you’ll be able to see how silly and minor the whole thing is.

Follow these tips and you’ll feel better in no time!

xoxo Hunni